Proactive Parenting -- How to Set Goals for Your Family and Children

by Shelly Walker

So often, we parents get caught in a cycle of reactive parenting. A situation comes up and we react, and that seems to be the only way we parent. We go along, moment to moment and day to day and simply react to the circumstances around us. Taking a moment to step out of this cycle to look at the long-term big picture is a great way to get some perspective and begin to head your family in the right direction.
We’re so busy. Frantic. Hectic. We wait for the weekends (or the vacation) to have fun with our families. We’re on the go, from morning ‘til night and by the time evening does come we’re often so exhausted that we only have enough energy to sit in front of the TV and zone out.

No wonder we are being reactive parents, flying by the seat of our pants! We’re all doing the best we can every day for our families. But there’s another way to parent our children: a positive, loving, long-term view of them and their lives that lends itself to possibility and joy.

By taking just a few minutes today to realign yourself with your goal for your family, you can make a positive change that will rapidly diffuse to every person in your household. If you are married, do this exercise with your spouse. Get on the same page and begin today to work for the same goals. If you are co-parenting with a non-resident parent, get together and spend just a small amount of time that will make a huge difference in the lives of your children. If you are a single parent it is even more important that you take the time to be proactive now, so you’re not chasing your tail later!

Being a proactive parent means that you think about what you want for your children in the long run and take every parenting moment that comes to help them towards that goal. I’ll show you what I mean.

One of the things that I want for my children is for them to be financially independent. I want them to know how to use their money to create passive income. I want them to know that they can live their passions in life and make money, too. I want them to know how to save, invest, tithe and spend their money wisely. So, keeping that goal in mind, how can I parent them in a way that will work towards this goal? Here’s what I do:

At the age of five, my children begin getting an allowance. They put 10% away for saving, 10% away for investing later on, 10% is given away to charity and they have the other 70% to spend on anything they want. (My husband and I got this idea from Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Kid, Smart Kid website his Rich Dad, Poor Dad books. These are great resources for learning how to handle your money.)
I give my children complete freedom over their spending money. That way they naturally learn how to save for the things they want. They gain the natural consequences of having and spending money. If they blow all of their money on candy today, they won’t have enough to buy the toy they’ve been wanting tomorrow.
My children know that if they want to earn extra money, they can do extra chores around the house. This empowers them and gives them the freedom to choose their income level.
At the age of eight, we begin to work on investing. We find something that they’re passionate about (for John, its baseball cards) and we begin to learn about investing in things that will appreciate (assets) and bring in more money. Since he’s been putting aside 10% of his income for the last three years, he has a good chunk of money start investing with. And, since he has his savings he doesn’t need to worry if all of his investments don’t turn out to be winners.
One of the most important things we do to help our children be financially secure is to talk about money matters with them. We are very careful about the vocabulary we use: always using empowering “choice” words, not “lack” words. If John wants something that we can’t or don’t choose to afford, it’s always “we’re choosing to use our money in a different way right now” never “that’s too expensive” or “we can’t afford that.” We do point out the difference between products and prices, but we don’t make judgment calls. These discussions happen naturally and are a constant part of our parenting. We are positive that we want our children to grow up with prosperity consciousness, not poverty consciousness. How we talk today about money is how they will think about money tomorrow.
That is one small goal that Michael and I have for our children. We keep that goal in mind every single day, in every parenting moment. Sometimes its hard work: maybe I think that the toy John wants is a total waste of money and it’s its hard to resist talking him out of it. But how will he ever learn how to make smart choices if he’s never allowed to choose for himself? Freedom is empowering, though it may be a little scary.

Now it’s time to sit down and do the following exercise. You may be able to do it in a few minutes or you might want to think about it for a few days and then sit down with your partner and put your answers to paper. As Steven Covey says in The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, begin with the end in mind! Begin today to parent with the end in mind: happy, successful children who grow into fully empowered adults.

Step 1: Sit down, relax, get a cup of tea or a glass of water, and just be for a few minutes. If you pray, ask for guidance and a Knowing of the best goals for your family. If you like, you can simply close your eyes for a few minutes and get centered and still. The best parenting comes from that place of Stillness and Knowing that is deep within.

Step 2: Write down these six phrases, leaving room between them to write:

1. Financial Security
2. Physical Health
3. Emotional/Spiritual Health
4. Creative Freedom
5. Relationships
6. Other Goals
Step 3: Begin to brainstorm and write down any goal or desires for your children that come to mind. Most goals will fit into one of the first five categories. Imagine your children as adults. What skills do you want them to have? Are they happy, successful, empowered individuals? What do their relationships look like? Just keep writing and imagining until you have filled one sheet of paper.

Step 4: On another sheet of paper, re-write your 6 topics and put down your most important five goals for each area of development. It’s okay if you and your spouse have different priorities. Pick one that is very important to you both and each pick two more to add to the list.

Step 5: Choose one area of development to begin working on right away and add the others in as you can. Keep your goals in mind as you parent you children and remember that modeling the behaviors that you wish to see is the most effective way to teach your children. Emerson said, “Your actions speak so loudly that I cannot hear what you are saying.”

Keep your goals handy and update them as necessary. Remember to celebrate your children’s successes with them and let them celebrate yours.

Straight talk from the mom who’s been where you are and knows how to help your family: Shelly Walker is the mother of two beautiful children and the author of Awakened Power and the upcoming book Parenting Keys. Shelly is passionate about children and believes that every child deserves healthy, happy parents. For more information, go to http://www.parentingkeys.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shelly_Walker

Quiet Time For Parents

by: Stephanie Foster

OK, so that title sounds like a pipe dream for a lot of parents. You're probably busy taking care of your children all day, and if they're too small for school you don't get that break. But there are still ways to get some quiet time.

One way is to have your spouse take the kids for a day. If your spouse works outside the home while you stay home with the kids, that doesn't mean you deserve a seven day workweek every week. Come to an agreement about when you can have time for yourself. The amount and frequency will of necessity depend on the hours your spouse works. If your spouse or significant other is working two jobs to keep you home with the kids, you can't expect him to give up his one day off too often so you can go relax. Keep it fair to both of you.

If that simply cannot work for you, no matter the reason, try making arrangements with a friend. Trade babysitting in the middle of the day if you're both at home. The kids will get to play with each other, and you'll get a break without spending money on a sitter. Make sure you do the same for your friend. You may also be able to make arrangements with family members.
Another option is to take time after the kids are all in bed and asleep. Even a half hour soaking in a bubble bath can work wonders for frayed nerves. Set up your bath in whatever way you find to be most relaxing - candles, music, books, etc.

Sometimes, of course, the need for time for yourself will hit in the middle of the day when no one is available to help. What you do then will depend on the age of your children.

If you have an infant, there just isn't too much you can do. If they've been crying enough to get to you, you may have to walk out of the room for a few minutes, but make sure the room is a safe one first and do not go far. Take a few deep breaths and relax.

If you find that isn't working, it may be time for a change of scenery with your infant. Go for a walk, sit in the back yard, just get out of the house for a while. You may not even have to drive to find a better place to enjoy your infant. Just remember, they are infants for a short time only, and while it may be dragging now, it will later seem to have flown by. Enjoy it as best you can.
As children become toddlers, it becomes more difficult in some ways to get quiet time when you just need a break. You have to create a much safer area for them to play and ensure they stay there. For some children, their bedroom is simply ideal for this situation. A childproofed bedroom with some special toys can keep a toddler busy for some time.

Older children, can, of course, be sent outside to play when you need a break, weather permitting. It's not only a good breather for you as a parent, it gets them away from the TV and video games and into some exercise. How much you need to supervise them will of course depend on their ages and your comfort level.

It may not take a huge break from your children to make you feel much better and more relaxed. If the stress of parenting is getting to you, take some time for yourself, get relaxed and think about why you are getting stressed. You might just come up with a solution for your family.

About The Author: Stephanie Foster is a stay at home mom. For more advice on being a stay at home mom, please visit www.HomeWithTheKids.com and sign up for the free newsletter.

Traveling With Baby - Tips To Make Life Easier

by Christine Albury

It may sound daunting, but travelling with baby does not have to be a nightmare! A little preparation and forward planning is all you need for a successful trip with your tiny traveller.
There are certain supplies that are essential for any trip with your baby. The most important, of course, is enough food and milk for the journey. Always pack more than you think you'll need and include plenty of finger foods if your baby is old enough -- these are great for helping to keep him occupied! If you are breastfeeding and need to express milk, you can store it in a cooler, with ice, for up to 24 hours. You can also store bottles of pre-made formula in the same way -- alternatively, you can add pre-measured powdered formula to the bottles, then top it up with cooled, boiled water as required.

Another option is to bring "ready to drink" cartons of formula. Whilst ideal for the journey itself, be aware that you may not be allowed to take these cartons with you into certain countries. Sealed containers of formula do not normally present a problem.

Solid foods can be packed into a cooler, although a better idea is to bring foods with you that you can easily prepare during the journey. Avocado pears and bananas are good examples, as they can be simply peeled, mashed and served to your baby at room temperature.

Always bring your own feeding bowls and utensils when travelling with baby - many eating establishments do not have cutlery appropriate for an infant's use. A travel high chair is incredibly useful, too -- and means that you can comfortably feed your baby wherever you go. Disposable bibs, or a wipe-clean plastic bib, can be very convenient when travelling and they certainly cut down on the laundry!

If you ask for food or milk to be warmed for you, be VERY careful to check the temperature on its return. Busy waiters or cabin crew may overheat the food and you will need to wait for it to cool down. With this in mind, ask for any food or milk to be warmed well before you're actually going to need it!

Many parents worry about how to sterilise feeding equipment when travelling with baby. There are many products available to assist with this, from microwave steriliser bags to disposable bottle liners. Most stores dealing with infant feeding equipment will offer a range of travelling accessories such as these.

Other essential items for your trip will include nappies/diapers and scented diaper bags. If you're heading to a warm destination, adequate sun protection is a must! Also, consider bringing a small nightlight - if you're breastfeeding, it can be very useful in a dark, unfamiliar hotel room.
To help your baby cope with the trip and to reassure him in new surroundings, be sure to bring his favourite blanket. This can also serve as a handy "curtain" to shield an aeroplane sky cot/bassinet from the light, or for naps in his stroller when out and about.

Dress your baby in light layers when travelling -- not only does this make it easier to cope with fluctuating temperatures, but if your baby spills his food, for example, you can easily remove the top layer of clothing. Bring a change of clothes for yourself, too -- baby's mess tends to have a habit of transferring itself to his parents!

Enjoy your trip!

About The Author
Christine Albury is the author of http://www.homemade-baby-food-recipes.com - a complete guide to solid feeding during baby's first year. For more information about travelling with an infant, visit http://www.homemade-baby-food-recipes.com/travelling-with-baby.html